So You Think I Can't Love Evan More...

You're wrong.
Sorry this recap is late in coming...but better late than never.
During the solos I was reminded of how I ranked the contestants during auditions. Brief recap from LOVE to hate. LOVE Evan. Love Phillip. love Randi. Lurve Vitolio. HATE Melissa aka the really old one who is so annoying.
My friend Spongebob had never seen this show before and when our statuesque host was introduced he said "like one of those cat dealies?" hahaha. I thought it was funny.
I was very excited to see that joining Mary and Nigel on the panel was Adam "Shankers" Shankman. (Who I had just seen in the musical episode off Buffy. Deffo check it out.) I think Shankers is prob my fave overall judge. Sonya is giving him a run for his money, but I just love him. Now on with the show...
Couple One. Phillip and Jeanine.
Spongebob remarked that Jeanine had legs the same size as his legs. And she does indeed have very sturdy legs. The dance was pretty good. I give it a B/B+. The spooning at the end was def the best part. Shankers said it was "un-freaking real"...which I suppose is a good thing?
Couple Two. Asuka and Vitolio.
I love him. He's adorable. She is WAY overrated in my opinion. I was so excited for this number because I do like our dear Mr Diorio's choreography. But honestly I just was so disappointed. They didn't dance from the heart. Mary did not like it. My friend Waffle agreed with Mary and said she was right and that they played it safe. I give them a C. Every part but the heart.
Couple Three. Karla (who has a googley eye) and Jonathan.
Hated it. Don't care about them. Only good part was they were dancing to Poker Face. and that her eye was ever MORE googley on the final pose. For some reason I think the judges liked it. Whatevs. I give them a D.
Couple Four. Randi and EVAN!
Oh they are so cute. Randi is married and when they are getting their sexy on it awkward. Hehe. Evan said "I don't know how big her husband is" and that is funny. Their dance was quite steamy. As Spongebob said there was a "sweet a$$ leg grab or was it a sweet leg a$$ grab?" We got to see Ryan and "the other brother" (his t-shirt totally said it) in the audience. RYAN COME BACK IN 6! Now to judges. Shankers lurved and said that even though they are "vertically challenged" they danced like they were "8 feet tall." And Mary failed and said something about "when it comes to the to the two of you." It was pretty funny to me to me to everyone. I give them an A. (+ if we're being honest but not fair. I just love them.)
Couple Five. Paris (Hilton...courtesy of Spongebob) and Tony.
What's interesting about Paris? She "got crushed into a dashboard" and has awesome lady abs. Tony sucks at stank face. Honestly I hated this one. I believe my exact words at the time were "cuh cuh muh cuh" and "how dare they disrespect the Black Eyed Peas like that" which roughly translates to garbage. The judges were not on board either. And Nigel said "if you get krump right now you're in trouble." I give them an F+. Oh but something good did come out of this dance. Waffle learned the difference between "gangsta and stank."
Couple Six. Caitlin and Jason.
Caitlin is cries-a-lot-who-looks-like-Amy-Smart's name. And Jason looks like Aladdin's baby son. Esp when he is wearing his Jai Ho outfit. Aladdin mixed with Micah from heroes. So that's fun. They were one jump ahead the whole time. Hahaha. Get it? Aladdin? Oh well... They did a bollywood dance .And that's like basically a HUGE crowd pleaser I was pleased. Except that her belly button jewelry made her belly button look enormous like the cave of wonders. Shankers said someone was a little force of nature. I give that dance an A.
Couple Seven. Janette and Brandon.
I hate them both. They both are overrated. And think they are amazing. They did their foxtrot well. But I hate them. I grudgingly give them an A-. But Mary did make her botox comment about herself during this number. So that's good.
Couple Eight. Ashley and Kupono.
I really like Ashley. She's adorable. My friend Rabbit loves Wade and was so excited for his choreography. It was so dope. The crash test dummy stuff was genius. Spongebob asked me what the dog was doing and I said moving. There was a stuffed crash test dog dummy that went across the floor. It was awesome. When the dance was over Rabbit freaked out because he loved it so much and tried to kill my ceiling fan with the pillow he was wildly heaving about. That part was terrible It was like ringing a bell but worse. Judges loved it. Mary put the little dog on the hot tamale train. I gave them an A.
Couple Nine. Melissa and Ade.
I'll be honest. I hardly watched. I hate both of them. My only interesting and somewhat relevant note is that Waffle has the song they danced to in Cambodian. And who wouldn't want a Cambodian Richard Marx? Apparently the judges liked it. I have to give them a pass I guess. I can't give them a letter.
Couple Ten. Kayla and Max.
I loved her a little bit. I forgot. And I don't like him. Oh well. their dance was amazing. Shankman said "only God could have created this girl in front of me" to which Spongebob responded "only God could have fit that many sequins on one collar." The judges loved. I loved. I give them an A. Woot.

Sorry it was so lame...but oh well.