Word Bulimia

I am bulimic. Word bulimic. I take word vomit to a whole new level. Not the ordinary slips ups and blurts out for me...no no no. I have elevated to art of making a prat of myself to the realm of art.
You may think "surely, she can't be as bad as that" but I tell you I am. As my mother rightly pointed out to me last evening I could give the "dearly departed" Shannon from the Bachelor a run for her money in the awkward confession arena. You don't openly admit you are creepily obsessive. That's something you play close to the chest. Errr...at lease you should. Ever blurt out to a young man who has no idea who you are but who you happen to recognize that you remember him and that you had thought he was cute and was the best part of the play you saw. I should hope not. Oh and did I mention telling your BISHOP that you happen to have a nearly debilitating crush on one of his counselors sons? Yeah...
Some people can pull word vomit off actually. Play it off as a joke. Under NO circumstances are you to cry during a word purge. This turns an awkward situation in to an commit-able offense. At the very least restraining order territory.

5 Easy Steps to Avoid a Word Vomit Situation
1. Don't talk ever again
2. Maintain a Midol induced emotional level
3. If you find yourself talking, try to stop your mouth from going with out your permission
4. Get plenty of sleep, avoid alcohol, drugs, members of the opposite sex, or any other thing that could impair your judgement. (The auto spell check on this wants me to spell that "JUDGMENT"...I think not!)
5. Chew gum or constantly carry suckers to keep your mouth busily doing something other than spewing words with out your consent

Should you find yourself in a nausea inducing wave of word vomit let me offer this friendly advice. RUN! Don't walk to the nearest exit and stick to carefully planned text based conversations in the future.