My Morning Today

 "Did you sleep through your alarm?" Mom said.
Panic courses threw every fiber of my being. Holy swear word! Did I sleep through my alarm? What day of the week is it? How could this have happened. "What time is it?"
7:02. I scramble from my bed in a spastic flurry of bumbling not-quite-awake-yet-ness.
7:03. I run around my room searching for something to wear.
7:04. I check my phone to see how we're doing on time.
7:05. I haphazardly change into my clothes for the day.
7:06. I run to the ladies room to do ladies room kinds of things including brushing my teeth and hair.
7:09. I grab my purse and run out the door.
7:10.  It snowed. But fear not for my mother has scraped the snow from my car. It is nearly ready for me to leave.
7:11. Pull out of the driveway.
7:12. Bon Jovi and I are "Livin' On a Prayer."
7:13. Head toward the freeway.
7:14. Enter the freeway.
7:15. Swear word! Why in the world would they make a freeway that can have a puddle that size so people can pretty much hydroplane at freeway speeds.
7:16. Seriously, it's called "drainage" people. This is a hazard. Oh Jesse McCartney soothe my frazzled nerves.
7:17. Exit free way.
7:18. Come on the speed limit is 40 mph. Why are you only going 38?
7:19. "Jay-sahn De-roooooloh"
7:20. Naturally I'm late enough to hit the school zone with the lights flashing.
7:21. Just waiting to turn left.
7:22. Waiting a red light. Who am I waiting for again? If I were a lesser person...I'd just go.
7:23. Swipe my card so I can park.
7:24. Park and quickly run across the street to my job.
7:25. Arrive at work. Reporting for duty.

Now while some people may be impressed that I was able to wake up and be to work 23 minutes later...don't be. I look terrible. And I'm exhausted. And I forgot my wallet and my cell phone. And I got a little bit in trouble. You see I have a bit of an "I'm not a morning person, so my first thing of the day is naturally to be late" thing going on. So naturally my boss does not find this to be an endearing quality. I find I'm needing to live my life based on the following table:

So naturally any time I have the unfortunate hiccup in my morning routine that gets me to work in the "Right on time" section, I panic. Because really "Right on time" is acceptable but it's cutting it close and if I were to be "Right on time" every day...I feel that the table would shift toward the "You'd better get here at 7" end of the spectrum.
But oh well. I made it. Even if I kind of smell and look really terrible, and kind of wish I could sleep. I made it.

Also, my wireless mouse and keyboard died again a while ago, so I'm stuck with Ouiser and if she keeps wheezing...I may strangle her with her cord.