That's What It's All A-Boot

A while ago I went to see Legally Blonde: The Musical with my manneguin. It was utterly fantastic. We got dressed up all nice. We wore pink. I showered and blow dried (Blew dry? Blowed dry?) my hair. I put on make up. Needless to say, I looked amazing. And I wore these oh-so-smart black ankle boots with black opaque tights. The boots are the cutest things you’ve ever seen. They have about a 3 inch heel so that’s, you know, not unbearably uncomfortable. Or so I thought. They were agony. Half way from the car to the theater I thought “I don’t think these boots were a good idea,” but halfway through the show I said to myself “I flipping HATE these boots.” So I did the undignified thing and took them off during intermission. I had bought a souvenir program and it came with a cheepy backpack so I was like “Nice I’ll stash my boots in that. And I’m wearing black tights so maybe people won’t really notice I’m not wearing my shoes and they won’t judge me harshly.” Maybe I would have been right. Maybe. But any chance of non-chalance was thrown out the window when my hand went spastic and pretty much tossed my boot on the poor girl in the seat in front of mine. I had been in the process of putting my boot in the bag when I just lost all control. It was very embarrassing. First of all, normal people are wary about bumping the back of the chair in front of them…I’m like terrified of disturbing that person’s experience with any sort of jostle so I try really hard to pretty much not move. Second, what kind of a person takes off the boots in the middle of a show? Third, what sort of lunatic sticks said boots into a bag? Fourth, who thinks that’s a great plan?
Well I was super embarrassed and appalled at myself.
“Oh my goodness! I am SO sorry.” I say.
“Oh I’m sorry.” says the girl in front of me.
Hahaha. Girl in front of me, why are YOU sorry? You were sitting there, helpless, while I chucked my boot at your head from behind. My mannaguin said it best (facetiously):
“That’s right you should be sorry. How dare you sit there?”
It ended up being just fine. The girl in front of me was clearly not ticked since she apologized to me. But I learned a valuable lesson that night…once you’ve committed to an outfit, stick with it. OR the other lesson was “Don’t ever wear high(ish) heels because you’ll just want to take them off and you will most likely bludgeon someone with them.”