Surly

It has come to my attention that I am a “bench” a lot of the time. This is not always the case. But pretty much most of the time lately. And well I think it’s mostly and internal benching because I mostly just get annoyed in my heart and keep a lot of it in my brain. But I fear that may be making postal. So here are some of the things that I want to say:

This is my brain.

“Please. PLEASE! Keep telling me about how much you loved bowling back in the 1940s.” “Monster’s Inc. is your favorite movie. I know. You tell me EVERY WEEK!” “Oh. Is that what you would do? Then why don’t you do it and stop asking me to!” “Your laugh makes me want to throw water in your face.” “GET OUT OF MY CUBICLE!” “Seriously? You’re going to just not text me back?” “No I don’t know what you are doing this weekend.” “Stop looking at me ice-cream. I will melt you.” “Really BBC America! Really!” “MY SANDWICH!?” “That’s it!” “If I had to pick a least favorite person. It would be you.” “You have Ned Pepper’s teeth from True Grit.” “I ain’t BOVVERED!” “Stop stealing all the triple words spaces!” “Stop telling people about your problem child. No one wants to hear about it!” “Fix your own problems. I am not your mother.” “No. I’m not going to do it.” “Right now? You want me to do that…right now?” “Just leave.” “Don’t worry. I’m only dying of pancreatic failure. Please…let me crawl around on the floor and plug in things for you. Please.” 

Sorry. I just had to get that off my chest.