Vacate the Premises

My faithful readers will have noticed that I missed blogging all last week. This is because I was on vacation. In California. Let’s go through the highlights of the trip.

1. Flat tire. We were an hour into the trip when suddenly: POT HOLE. So two hours later, I’m a day park-hopping at Disneyland poorer and we are back on the road with 3 trusty tires and 1 new tire.
2. 6 to 7 hours of bumper to bumper traffic.
3. The island we were on flooded.
4. The power got knocked out.
5. It rained nearly the whole time.
6. 11 boys, 5 girls, one bathroom. 
7. The creepy old black and white photo of a little girl outside of my room.
8. I forgot my towel.
9. Sunburned forehead which led to a leprous forehead.
10. There was sand everywhere in the house.
11. I paid to NOT eat crab cakes.
12. Failing massively at boogey boarding.
13. Tar on the beach.
14. My car was kidnapped for several hours.
15. Then I was kidnapped in my car for half an hour.
16. The boy I have a little crushlette on called me “buddy” which is the worst!
17. The whale we paid to see fell asleep.
18. My bangs were driving me INSANE!
19. When I went for my mani-pedi the little mani-pedi ladies kept tricking me into getting more and more expensive upgrades.
20. My team lost in the NCAA tournament.
21. Bottom bunk in California where an earthquake is imminent, which could lead to being smooshed.
22. Pooped on by a bird. (To be fair “Lindsey” got most of the poop…but I still got a little on me too.)
23. Parking ticket.
24. Speeding ticket…an hour away from home.

That’s not to say the trip was all bad. Mostly it was fun. A lot of fun. And I made a bundle of new "buddies." But due to the unexpected expense of the tire and tickets the trip ended up costing me about 3 times more than I thought it would.

However, I did get some shampoo and conditioner that made your head feel minty fresh AND I was introduced to the fun-time that is playing Set. Also there was an olde-timey candy store that supplied me with enough Giant Pixie Stix to keep me happy for a long while yet.

It's like fog...

Recently in the great state where I live we've been experiencing a common phenomenon known as "inversion." It is defined by the great scientific and meteorological minds of our time as occuring when the layer of air near the earth is cooler than an overlying layer. It's dirty and cold and terrible for your health. Smog. Disgusting. Well that's all a matter of perspective.
Ever since I was little I've loved the miracle of inversion. Maybe it's because, always surrounding Christmas, the mists act like the swaddling around the infant savior. Maybe it's because there is the terrifying allure of something too close to avoid but completely out of sight. Regardless I can remember walking to school (well across the school grounds anyway) in the deepest thickest fog of my recollection and being in awe of the romance of the mists. Even if they weren't quite Radcliffe's rolling mist and shiftig vapours. To me they held as much horrid delight as any gothic novel could provide.
Now that I am older I understand what causes inversion and how it's bad for your lungs blah blah blah. But I just can't shake the warmth this chilly cloud brings me. Because that's what it is for me. A cloud. For a few short days every year, I get to live in the clouds. And it makes you cough. It stings your eyes. It very well could even cause my death some year when I'm older as the mists seeps into me over time and causes a deadly pneumonia or some other such disease. (But of course nothing so romantic as consumption now that science has rearranged itself so that consumption now is obsolete and has been taken to the chop shop to be some other subsidiary ailments.) It makes driving a real pain in the tires. But these are all things I welcome readily for the shrill thrill it brings each and every year.
Not everyone would agree with me. In fact, I'm sure I may be in the tenth of a percent area. "It blocks out the view of the mountains." It elevates the mountains. Magnifies them. Makes them seem more lofty...above the clouds. Further away but even bigger than you ever remembered. For a few short days of the year they are as grand as the Himalayas. They are the grandfathers of the Alps. "It blocks out the sun." It captures the light. It caresses and holds sun. Spreading the light across the whole sky. And it clasps the sunset in a vicelike grip until the very last ounce of color and light is placed before you.
So to all of you who complain about "that horrible smog" by telling me "how disgusting it is"...well why don't you try stepping into a different perspective. Clear your mind of fog about the smog.